Sample Chapter: Only the Regretful Chapter 5: Revelations

“Ned! My lord, we need to talk.”

Going still, dread filling him as he turned to face his wife, Ned waited impassively for her next words.

“I received a letter from my father and got some rather...interesting news. Apparently the Martells have another sister who just came home and they wish to celebrate with a tourney. Not only do I think that rather suspicious but isn't it fascinating that the Princess goes by the name you once called me when we were in bed, working to have a heir?”

When Ned just continued to keep quiet and his face like ice, Lady Cat hissed, “She's the one, isn't she? She's the one you love so much you don't want to talk about her and I even bet she's the mother of your bastard which is why you insist on raising him alongside our trueborn children! Because he was all you had of her when she for some reason took off and left her bastard with you!”

“Is that true? Is my mother a Princess Father? Was she so ashamed of me that she gave me to you?”

Feeling ice pierce his heart as he spun around to see the stricken face of his 7 year old son, Jon Snow, Ned said fiercely, “No, of course not! I mean... yes she's a Princess but she was never ashamed of you, my boy. She loved you, loves you so much Jon! She just...It just wasn't safe for her to take you with her...”

“Yes, especially since she had a provider to take you, her bastard in, anyways,” Cat snapped, cutting into the family moment. 

His gray eyes flashing in rare anger, Ned said coldly, “That's enough Catelyn. Be angry all you want with me but leave Jon out of this. My son does not concern you.”

“No,” she agreed fiercely. “Because now that she's home, you can return her bastard to her! After all, Dorne loves their bastards, don't they? Prince Oberyn even has his own set! It will be a whole family reunion won't it, the Prince and Princess and their bastards all together, at last.”

“I SAID ENOUGH!”

At his shouted words, his wife went silent. But glaring at her husband, resentment in her blue eyes, she was further filled with hatred when her husband announced firmly in a quieter voice, “We will be attending the tourney in 6 moons time and I shall introduce Jon to his mother. But unless he wishes it, he will always have a place and home here, with me and his siblings. I'll hear no more of this, understand me?”

Bowing her head, as what other choice did she have, Cat then turned and stalked away.

With a sigh, Ned turned back to Jon. 

His big gray eyes filled with a fearful look of hope, the young boy said softly, “I'm going to meet my mother, Father? Will she love me? What is she like? Do you still love her?”

The rush of questions flooding out of his boy reminded him so much of another who had once done the same exact thing, that Ned couldn't help himself. He burst into laughter, causing his son to break off and stare up at him with dismay.

“I'm sorry Jon,” he finally said, after he managed to get control of himself. “I didn't mean to laugh but it's just that you sounded so much like her right now...So curious, so eager to know everything...She...You wanted to know what she's like, you only have to look to yourself to know that you are very much her son.” 

When the boy beamed at him, Ned had to struggle not to feel guilt at deceiving him, telling himself it was only a slight lie. Jon was like his mother, it was just that his mother was not Hermione and despite how he might wish otherwise, he was in reality his sister's boy. But Lya was dead and Jon knowing the truth would only get him killed so what harm did it do to let him think himself the son of his true love and himself? While he knew he would have to explain everything to Hermione first he felt confident she'd go along with it, as she always did have a soft spot for children, especially orphaned ones. If anyone would understand, it would be her, more so than Catelyn ever could. 

His guilt averted, for now, he continued, sensing how eager Jon was to know more of his 'mother'.

“And not only is your mother the smartest person I know, she is also very kind, capable of so much love and generosity that I alway said was rare to find in our world. People like her Jon, are one in a million and if you are ever lucky to find someone like that, don't ever let them go. Hang on to them and cherish them as you don't know how long you'll get with them...”

Seeing his Father's eyes go distant as if he was recalling something, something both dear and painful to him, Jon frowned. 

Reaching out a small hand, he hesitantly touched his Father lightly on his arm.

“Father?”

Snapping back to the present, Ned cleared his throat and said rather gruffly, “And as to whether I love her still, the answer is yes. She is and always will be my first and true love, Jon. No one, not even Catelyn could ever replace her in my heart, as I had long ago given it to Hermione when I was but a boy.”

Swallowing hard, when he heard how much his Father loved his Mother, Jon said in a small voice, “Then does that mean you will leave Lady Catelyn for my Mother? What would happen to my half-siblings if you did that? What would that make me then? Would I no longer be a bastard if you take my Mother as your new wife?”

His eyes widening with shock, as he stared down at Jon, not having expected this sudden outcome but in hindsight, should have seen it coming, Ned struggled to come up with words to say.

In the end, he said gently, “Oh my boy...I'm so sorry...I suppose it's only natural for you to think and hope for that to happen...But although I love your Mother with everything that I am, I couldn't ever do anything to hurt Cat any further than I had already done...No I'm sorry but she will remain my wife but in regards to you...I suppose your Mother would have you legalized and made her heir...She is next in line for the Rulership of Dorne after all.”

His eyes widening at that admission, Jon cried, “Then I'll be a Prince and Heir to Dorne like Robb is Heir to Winterfell Father?”

Hearing the longing and hope in his son's voice, realizing then how hard being a bastard had been on his young son, something he had never wanted him to know but couldn't shield him from, Ned said fiercely, “Yes son, you'll be like your brother only with the advantage of being of higher status than him, as a Prince of Dorne.”

 Joy and excitement flooding the boy's small features, Jon said eagerly, “Can I tell my siblings then Father? Can I tell them of Mother and of us going to Dorne for her welcome back tourney?”

His solemn face softening at seeing the change in his son, Ned said gently, “Of course you may Jon. I don't see the use of keeping who your Mother is a secret anymore, especially when everyone probably knows.”

With a grin rivaling the sun, the boy then hurled himself at his Father, giving him a hug before dashing off, no doubt in search of his siblings.

Only once when he was out of sight, did Ned pray to the Gods of Old that he had done the right thing.

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